Future Enthusiast Pillows

"Can you recommend a book optimistic about the future that isn't in the fiction section?"

'Don't scoff, she's the best futures analyst we've ever had.'

"The robot won it again!"

"My father was a Brexit negotiator and his father before him..."

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

Driverless Car

Small dairy farmers have no future.

'You are loyal, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient and cheerful...'

"Stick to it. There's a future in cryogenics."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Next week's hindsight today - The future is now next week.

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

'7 new planets discovered like Earth..' 'When do we leave?'

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

'It's five dollars cheaper if you watch the commercials.'

'What do you mean, closed due to unforeseen circumstances?'

'I see a body of water...with soap.'

'Very soon you will be 25 dollars poorer!'

The self-driving police car arrives quickly...

"You'll meet a handsome young man who will marry your best friend."

'What do you see in my split ends?'

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

Fortune teller has a diary for 2017

"You can stop worrying about winding up in a fast food meal. You have an incurable disease."

They stopped working on it years ago.

"You are going to marry and have a baby. But not necessarily in that order."

"Darling we need to talk about our future."

"Either the crystal ball's had it or you have."

"Welcome back, Mr. Bigley. Some messages came in for you while you were dead."

"Help yourself to a fortune cookie while the ball is warming up."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

Psychic Hotline

"I bought him to handle the robot calls."

"I'm in a bad mood today: sit down!"

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".