Future Educator Pillows

'I know I'm having trouble reading at a 3rd grade level...that's why, when I grow up, I'm going to be a 2nd grade teacher.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'It was neat! -- they have flat-screen blackboards!'

'When do you teach them how to dress themselves?'

Once upon a time vs. today

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'I want to be a teacher when I grow up so I can dish out homework like you.'

'You have a lot to learn about watching television -- that's an educational program!'

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"You're fired."

Hate Platforms

Lynching on social media

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Ethics exam cheater.

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

Fear/Knowledge

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

Campaign for Plain English

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

I will study my speling words...

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."