Future Dribbler Pillows

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Football Fans

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

Exercising

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Children playing football.

Midnight Basketball

Future Wrestler

A boy with a football

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

Not The Real Me

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

"Behind the back, between the legs, around my disappointed parents, nothing but net."

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Football Skills

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"What a midfield wizard!"

'We're going to insist that he at least finish kindergarten before entering the NBA draft.'

"It's your turn, kid."

Athletic Darwinism.

Boy holding football.

"Papi, will I be the first in our family to go to college?"

'Remember son, winning isn't everything. You need good endoresement deals too.'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'