Future Bride Mugs

"How much does it cost to get married? I don't know, I haven't finished paying yet!"

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

Wedding Fayre

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Baby, baby maker

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

In the club.

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

Biological Alarm Clock.

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

The Aisle

Last night of freedom.

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

"She's registered at Salomon Smith Barney."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

Bridal bootcamp

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

'I'm on the way!'

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

'Do you cater weddings?' Why the groom is never put in charge of anything.

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'