Furry Drinking Companion Pillows

A stronger drink

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Dolphin friendly tuna

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

Baloneystini

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

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'Next!'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

'He's a tenacious lap dog.'

"Hold my calls for a while, Wilson."

"I do like it here, but I'm ready for my own apartment."

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

'Ben has his own cute little ways to show his dislike for dry food.'

"Do you think we should get a pet?"

"Owning a pet is a big responsibility, not to mention never wearing dark clothing again."

'Can't one eat in peace!'

"Yes, I came back. I always come back."

"OK, so just to recap: Small bowl is you, big bowl is me."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

Cat and Dog Fights.

Local wildlife bringing an old beggar food.

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

Hal is such a nice guy, every dog in the neighborhood brings him slippers.

"English: Walk?" "Dog hears: Edibles on the sidewalk!"

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."