Furniture Funster T-Shirts

'It's made out of solid wood and it sleeps eight.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"I was almost that last year."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

Pirates

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"You spoil that boy."

Leopards do change their spots

The TROU of the Baroque

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

Woman with blouse zipped up to varying degrees. Arrows read, 'single,' 'married, 'happily married.'

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

The last of the mullet.

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'