Furlough Philosopher T-Shirts

". . . We've been furloughed. . ."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Feel free to take notes."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"I AM at my usual position."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"I should've never studied canon law."

The Three Kinds of People

"I don't believe in egrets."

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know what your office staff are doing?'

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

"But now the good guy with a gun has a foot wound."

"Before the library cuts I was well-read now I just have ill-informed opinions."

'Do I believe in evolution? - Well, I suppose we should get it over with.'

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

Stephen Fry.

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

"Mental note to self: rethink theory of survival of the fittest."

'Coming up next...more of man's inhumanity to man...in hi-def.'