Furball Philosopher Gifts

Long-range planning

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

You're arrogant, aloof and spoiled...but I mean that in the nicest way.

"Projectile hairballing."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Fido and Fifi

"Love means I narrowly chose you over a bunch of cats."

"Don't you just love that new cat smell?"

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

Dog to other: 'I think I'm becoming quite addicted to pats on the head.'

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

Violinist welcomed by cats

Menage a Paws.

'Will work for tummy rub.'

Looks like this is the only contest Fluffy has a chance of winning today!

What if cats talked dirty...

"In case you hadn't noticed, this is a multiple cat home!"

'She's killing me with kindness!'

'Hey, Dad! Kitty worked out how to use her new cat-door!'

"It's a great property: the highlights are three cat-flaps, two litter trays, two scratch poles and of course, no bath..."

"I have to go – it's time to feed the cat."

Chaos at the vet's office.

Cat wears jacket: "It's 100 per cent real furball."

"I can die at peace now knowing your toe nails are neatly clipped."

"I just got released from da pound. What's yer name, sweetie?"

"If pressured, I will run!"

"The meaning of "crazy"? Well, it means "kind and caring" of course, like in the expression "crazy cat lady"..."

'In my book, any interrogation involving water constitutes torture.'

Cat about to get an injection from a vet.