Fur-tastic Humorist Pillows

"Who's showing remorse now that it's time for sentencing? Huh? Who's remorseful now? Who was soooo bad?"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Hats and Food

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Scuba cow"

"Someone throw him a punchline!"