Funny Therapy Moments Gifts

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

"No heroic measures."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

'I'm becoming predictable.'

"I've switched from talking to myself to talking at myself."