Funny Survival Tales Pillows

"Why? Did you want one?"

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Robinson Crusoe's blog.

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

After 73 days, the coconut would finally be his.

"Holy water, holy water...."

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

Early detection was rarely helpful.

"I lost my way and wandered through this white hell for five days before your brave rescue dog found me and saved me from starving to death!"

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'This photo is hardly suitable for your misery memoir.'

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"We both knew this day would come, Samantha... I'm leaving you and taking the kids."

'Ferguson's not at his desk -- He must be sleepwalking again!'

"This better be high tide."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"The kitchen sink. . . actually I DID pack it, it's the one over there on the left."

BARBER

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

"I told the missus I'd be pottering around the garden all weekend."

Suddenly Billy realized that his grandma was right...Now that he was grown up, he did have to beat the women off with a stick.

'Our mirage proves this part of the Sahara is still very French.'

Deflating Island

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

"For the last time — there is no ‘other woman’!"

Stay in school.

'Ol? everyone! I'm keeping the sunglasses for Hollywood!'