Funny Partner Gifts

Relate - man acts the clown to show fun still in marriage

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Skeleton playing fetch.

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Mixed Doubles.

Holding hands

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

Advanced footsie

Love.

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Puppy Love

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"I love the way these safari trips bring out the animal in you, darling."

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'Henry, cut that out.'

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

You are simply the Greatest

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."