Funny Life Lessons Gifts

Jack was hopeless at getting the right bits in the right holes.

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"I learned one thing today. Attitude trumps aptitude!"

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

"Well, I'm just saying, buying me a cheap used car for graduation is not going to teach me responsibility."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

"Baldo, credit cards are a terrible idea! Take it from someone who has 10 of 'em."

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"In this life son, if you want something, you have to hunt for it."

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

'Well sure, YOU'VE got brakes on FOUR wheels!'

'What did you learn at university today?'

"We all make mistakes. That's why pencils have erasers!"

Be prepared - Don't jump to confusion.

'Remember, Junior, if at first you don't succeed...come up with a good exit strategy.'

Smart people learn from experience - other peoples'.

"Does school really help people with real life?"

'It's just that simple. So act now and start barking up the 'right' tree.'

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

"Don't think of it as being grounded. Think of it as suffering the consequences of your monumental stupidity."

He who hesitates is five miles past his exit.

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

"Are you too old to remember all the advice you tried to give me when I was too young to care?"