Funny Gift Fiend Gifts

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At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

"... Er, Houston... It would appear that there is life on Mars, after all!"

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Are you the pickle guy or the baby guy?"

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Lost and Found - 'Nothing yet.' (Zebra has lots its stripes).

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

Hissy-fits for sale.

A giant cat sleeps fitfully with four humans on the bed

'You're not from around here, are you?'

'This milk smells funny.'

Evil Pusskins #9

'My graduation gown got lost at the cleaners. Think anyone will notice this Snuggie?'

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

Every Easter the chickens would play the same old joke on Farmer Brown

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

"Judging by the survival gear, fishing pole and grill, I'm guessing he's an outdoor cat."

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

Nail Bar

'She tried diet after diet - the, at last, we hit on something that works . . .'

Cat Taking Cat Nip Drugs.

"It's four pounds a night, and one hour treadmill time..."

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, it was straight shots all the way.

When I said, Do you want to go out> I meant to pee, not on a date.