Funny Eater Pillows

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Today's special... donuts.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Menu Dating

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Local, free-range bug juice.

Is it too late to substitute a bee in my coffee for a fly in my soup?

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

'You're pushing food round your plate.' 'No, it's moving on its own.'

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

'My husband eats like a bird - Do you have regurgitated insects?'

'Trust me, Madam, that fish is fresh!'

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

"There are 12,000 species of ants... and you prefer worms?"

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'You dunk your donuts your way...'