Fungus Aficionado Gifts

"You've got a real fungus problem. You'll have to move out until it's taken care of."

'This species of fungi was last spotted in Oxford by Alice Liddell in 1862!'

'The entire Nadler family was devoured by a flesh-eating bathroom fungus.'

"Ma'am, your anti-fungal medicines have arrived."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

Driverless cars rage.

Sitting in a tree

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"Two vegans, please."

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"What did you download at school today?"

Valentine Day

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'