Funeral Preparations Gifts

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

He looks so natural lying there...

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'He loved that dog.'

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"Given a choice, would you prefer to be buried, cremated or converted to fossil fuel?"

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

Dead Man's Handel

"What if you go under before I need to?"

Goldfish funeral

"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

A signaller directing pallbearers

Undertaker's Flower Box.

"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"

"What do you mean, what's my favourite hymn?"

"Harold died happy knowing he gained a certain immortality through social media."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

“Sorry, we don’t accept the living dead.”

At the funeral of the amazing Voltar.