Funeral Planning Aficionado T-Shirts

"We also have urns, if you want to think outside the box."

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'

"Given a choice, would you prefer to be buried, cremated or converted to fossil fuel?"

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"Harold died happy knowing he gained a certain immortality through social media."

"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"

A signaller directing pallbearers

"What do you mean, what's my favourite hymn?"

Coffin floating out of outflow pipe.

We think he's dead, but why don

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

'Yes, we can easily place a gallon of Rocky Road in with your husband.'

'You'd look good in that.'

'I tend to bury stuff.'

'Do you think there's anything after death?'

"I want my ashes scattered over Bergdorf's."

Tombstone: 'Paul F. Nelson, Doing the Dead Thing Exclusively at Greenmeadow Cemetery since Sept. 25, 2005'

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

'If we do meet again in the after-life, you don't know me, o.k.?'

"The doctors said it's just one of the side effects of the medication he's on."

Sympathy Cards

"Of course, in life he was allergic to them."

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

O'Leary's Monuments

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

'I wouldn't be seen dead in a cardboard coffin!'

Relax, it's fake fur.