Funeral Jokester Pillows

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

"You idiots … we lost!"

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

The game comes first...

Dead Man's Handel

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

A signaller directing pallbearers

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

Interrupted Shower.

The disgusting, embarrassing sound of a whoopie cushion...

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

Fisherman Funneral