Funeral Jokester Pillows

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

"You idiots … we lost!"

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

The game comes first...

Dead Man's Handel

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

A signaller directing pallbearers

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

No caption. (Mimes carry an invisible casket from a hearse).

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

The disgusting, embarrassing sound of a whoopie cushion...

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

Fisherman Funneral