Funeral Ceremony Satirist Pillows

Bottomless Casket.

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

Eucharist

The game comes first...

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

Dead Man's Handel

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Marriage Returns

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

Fisherman Funneral

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

"D'you have sparkling?"

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

'Why is he always hanging around?'

O'Leary's Monuments

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'