Fundraising Fanatics Gifts

What's the money for? Animal rescue? No, we're part of a group fighting for the release of Burmese political prisoners.

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Born to raise interest rates.

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

Overdraft limit.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

I am billing, therefore I am.

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

The nonprofit dog fight.

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

'If at first you don't succeed, admit failure and ask for a bailout.'

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

"...I want to find out whether there's any truth in the belief that money can't buy happiness."

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

'Pep's finance' man confused and scared of 'Real estate', 'Gold' etc

Campaign Trail

Appeals

'We finally nailed down where our congregation's priorities lie!'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'