Fundraiser Fanatic Gifts

"To finance an ark that size I'll have to hold a telethon!"

"Would you like to buy a candy bar to help us raise money for our social security."

'We finally nailed down where our congregation's priorities lie!'

'It's getting worse. Now all the voices in my head are pledge drives.'

"We only got six days of funding."

Face painting.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Funnel of Love

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'...Please stop the...'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

25¢ Ride the Pony

World of Cow.

Lincoln v. Douglas - 2020

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

The nonprofit dog fight.

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

"What are we doing wrong?"

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"