Fund-raising Scientist Gifts

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

Bacteria fame at last.

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"This medical dictionary has had it's appendix taken out. . . !"

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

It takes more than imminent danger to convince a true skeptic!

Campaign Trail

"As usual, you're confusing your right to have an opinion with having your opinion respected."

'Good Lord, what is it this week? New equipment for your kid's soccer team?'

'... And what makes you want to work on the 'Genome' project?'

"...then - and here's the funny part - I add the potassium sulfate..."

"I have a CD available with all proceeds helping to alleviate suffering in the jazz world."

"Curses! You have thwarted my science-based argument by quoting scripture! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

"Stacy. Stacy. Honey... You're not a doctor."

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

If Isaac Newton had lived in present-day America.

'Yes, we're having another fund raiser but, please don't give! Who cares if honest intelligent radio goes silent forever?'

'It's pure psychology - as soon as I've finished my sermon on coverting wives and wordly goods. Get the collection plates round'.

Wise Guy Cookies.

Atheist Richard Dawkins attacks Pope's beliefs.

'And how many cookies can I put you down for?'

"My paper will revolutionise our perception of core scientific principles..."

"The shock of an unsolicited grant was just too much."

'What do you suggest we do about this?' 'How about a jumble sale?'

"The local karate club must be fund raising again."

"Dad, would you consider a leadership gift to my snowboard capital campaign?"