Fun With Stats Gifts

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

Graph to find your IQ

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Bank Robbery Statistics

"I hate to be a downer, but, statistically, people are more likely to die of heart disease than by getting

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

"Frankly, Harold, you're beginning to bore everyone with your statistics."

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

The statistician marrying the probability expert...

Social median

Those Who Get Off On Not Social Distancing: 87% Celebrities On ZOOM: 83%. "We're All In This Together": 82%

'If you look closely at the CAT scan, you can see a tiny area of normal brain activity. Otherwise, he's got nothing but a headful of useless sports statistics.'

"The bar charts show out clients overwhelmingly prefer pie charts."

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

"Study after study shows that more and more people are participating in studies."

The Stat family

"You'll be pleased to know you're making good progress - you've just become a statistic."

"So far, decliners outnumber advancers nine to seven."

Phone Quiz - Your Chance of Winning Is: A A Cat in Hells, B A Cat in Hells, C All of the Above.

'He's okay otherwise, but I get sick and tired of hearing about his lifetime batting average of .325.'

Man confusing man using statistics.

'We'll only do 72% of it, since it's been reported that 28% of surgery is unnecessary.'

"Mr Giles, when I recommended that investment to you, I was reading the wrong chart - a chart concerning home runs in the National League. But it didn't matter - the stock went up anyway."

Remember, Art, statistics, credits and debits are in the eye of the manipulator.