Fun-loving Feline Friend Pillows

"Do you know why I stopped you today?"

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"And where have you previously moused?"

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

"I hate it when we fight."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

The practical psychopath

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

Shelter Cat Nap

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Christmas Pets

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Humans are strange."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Chasebook

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."