Fun-loving Aunt Pillows

The cell phone soother for life.

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

Biofelineism

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

Christmas Pets

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'Save us!'

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

'They keep telling us these are the best years of our lives...but THEY seem to be having a pretty good time!'

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to hurt sales of my 'tell-all' book."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

"And you wonder why they call me a bitch?"

How Am I Driving?

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

"Never too old to rock and roll."

"Elinor, honey, isn't Mr. Stripes pretty? He just had his shots."

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'What d'you mean-you THINK you've seen this before-you've seen EVERYTHING before!'

'I think we'll have to call the fire brigade again.'