Fuel Frugality Fans Pillows

Shall I cough on your tires while I'm at it?

'I have carpal tunnel syndrome from raising it.'

"I sold my car $1500 last week! It's actually worth only $750! The guy understood! I'd just filled it up with gas!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

'How many miles to the gallon?'

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"It was $78 but that was when you started filling, it's $96 Now."

"We're not certain why they disappeared, but archeologists speculate that it may have had something to do with their size."

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

'It is fuel efficient, but my ego feels crunched.'

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

"We'd better NOT fill up on Earth - I've heard it's very expensive!"

Gasoline is the devil and it's treading on the world.

You belong to a tightwad club? Our time has come. For years we met in private, shunned by society. Thanks to the economy, we're hip. We can celebrate our frugality in front of the whole world! Bad time to ask for a raise. I am chinchy, hear me roar!

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning an SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

'Petrol-head trilobite dreams of his future.'

I feel so helpless. Fuel price anger counseling – $25. The gas companies could charge me whatever they wanted and I couldn't do a darn thing about it. I'm utterly powerless – a pawn in some sick geopolitical game where I've got no options. What if I can't afford to drive my 6,000-ton SUV two blocks to the gym?!

'This one get 40 miles per gallon.'

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

Scrooge and his piggy bank

"Why can't we have a proper stairlift?"

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

'Chapter one. Don't waste your money. Don't buy useless crap like this stupid book'.

Petrol.

'Pain at the pump; is really painful....even when not at the pump!'

'Green technology?'

I'm out of ideas. I'm tapped out. Of what? I can't think of any ways to squeeze more money out of customers. I've lost my cheapskate muse! Return to me, creative Goddess of Frugality! This is just beyond weird.

'Well, son, the bad news is that one day you'll become fuel to power cars. But the good news is you'll go for $5 a gallon!'