Fuel Frugality Fan Pillows

'Thanks to the price of gas, I had to go to smaller, cost-efficient, sports car.'

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

The year 2015. . .Gas: $2.99 a pint.

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

Fuel Costs

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

Underwater on the Car

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Fetching some fuel.

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

'Steady...here he comes...wait for it, wait for it...'

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

'How many miles to the gallon?'

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"Woo-hoo!"

There's no real oil emergency...

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

'Fuel efficiency? I get about three times around the block on a peanut butter sandwich.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

Prison Ships

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

Car on bike.

'Ever since we switched from bio-diesel to human beings, the air smells cleaner, the Earth much greener, and the mileage has been unbelievable!'

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

Please don't run out of gas...

You belong to a tightwad club? Our time has come. For years we met in private, shunned by society. Thanks to the economy, we're hip. We can celebrate our frugality in front of the whole world! Bad time to ask for a raise. I am chinchy, hear me roar!

"If only fossil fuels had developed sufficiently, we could have taken the car"

Scrooge and his piggy bank

"Why can't we have a proper stairlift?"

I'm out of ideas. I'm tapped out. Of what? I can't think of any ways to squeeze more money out of customers. I've lost my cheapskate muse! Return to me, creative Goddess of Frugality! This is just beyond weird.

'Green technology?'

'I jogged 120 miles last month and drank 3 gallons of wine. At 40 mpg, I'm doing more than my share for the energy crisis.'

'This little baby runs on solar, electric power, hydrogen, bio-fuel...practically anything but gas!'

"I get about 5 miles to the gallon, my wife and son get the rest"