Fuel Economy Woeful Gifts

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

Oil shock.

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"It was $78 but that was when you started filling, it's $96 Now."

'It's a hybrid.'

"We're not certain why they disappeared, but archeologists speculate that it may have had something to do with their size."

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

Gas Prices

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

Used Cars. Think of it this way --- As things fall off, the miles per gallon go up!

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

'Kiss me twice! I got the raise and 36 MPG, highway!'

'Did I mention the gas mileage?!'

'This model gets great gas mileage but is recommended only for the very agile driver.'

'Ever since we switched from bio-diesel to human beings, the air smells cleaner, the Earth much greener, and the mileage has been unbelievable!'

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

"Make it a gallon and a half. I'm living one day at a time."

'That's what I hate about Rental Boats.'

Deliverers of fine fuel protests.

"When are you gonna tell him he's in the protest convoy and not a queue for petrol?"

'Your honor, when considering sentencing please note that my client drove a hybrid car that gets 80 MPG.'

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning an SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

'This one get 40 miles per gallon.'

Gas price rollercoaster.

"The car is smart, but he's not. Apparently, he doesn't listen to it when it says it needs gas."

With gas prices soaring, many stations have begun posting EMS teams next to their pumps.

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

Conspicuous Nonconsumption.

Car Pools.

'The nice thing about our car is we double its value when we fill it up with gas.'