Frustrated Perfectionist Pillows

"Don't you hate that? Now I think of the perfect last words!"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'I'm not too sure about that.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

For sale - Used only Once.

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"Not to alarm you, but the other newborns are already ahead."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

"Hush, little baby, don’t you cry ... ever."

'He's researching out-of-state kindergartens.'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."