Ironic Perfectionist Pillows

'This can't be paradise - the reception is terrible!'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

Surreal ale

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Writer

Perfection

Poetry repairman

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"You're welcome."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Quality Contorl.

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

Writer's Block Next 10 Miles

Ventriloquist's fete

'I like the plot, but are all those nude scenes really necessary?'

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

Certificate for 98.4% accurasy.

"Now you can send it."

Wanting his picnic with Gwen to be perfect, Hal made sure they would not be bothered by ants.

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.