Frustrated Communicator Pillows

'If this is the conflict resolution hotline, why are you ticking me off??!!

"yetthhh, i hold..."

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

"If I hear one more buzz I will pull this car over!"

'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"We can still be friends, right?"

'You can contact us 3 ways: an email that will be trashed, a fax that will be buried, and a letter which will be lost.'

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

'I am so very frustrated! It's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'

Advanced Origami

"Slow down! You're toasting your Blackberry and talking into a Pop Tart."

'Believe me, you're not the first customer who's dropped their phone in the litter box.'

'Hello, how can I offend you?'

"No!! I said GUERRILLA warfare!"

"This is NHS direct.You are in a queue,approximate waiting time is 4 hours."

Feelings towards radios #5 Man angrily kicking a radio.

Police: Don't bother to call Dept formerly rapid response.

"to place an order, press one. To cancel an order, press two. For billing information, press three. For sale items, press four. For returns, press five. For customer service, press six. For the nearest location, press seven. To enroll in a memory course, press eight."

"You're darn right I'm angry: my reputation has been ruined by my behavior."

"Effing self-publishing rejection!"

'There's never an option that reflects exactly what I want to say.'

Confusing Parking Rules

"If you have a touch tone telephone, please choose from the following 12,847 options. . ."

"I am a stranger to your planet...."

If that's for me, I'm not here. And even if it's not for me, I still wish I weren't here. Ring.

"Just give me a moment..."

"Your call is important to us, just not as important as whatever else we're doing."

"Give me a sec and I'll check your order."

These text messages from the phone company are killing me!

'Oh, did you say chapstick? I thought you said gluestick!'

That was the most emotional I've ever seen you. What was? Yesterday, you poured your heart out about your

"Dang, I hate that! Someone called me by mistake!"