Frustrated Call Receiver Pillows

"Dang, I hate that! Someone called me by mistake!"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'No it's still not fixed'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"To hear the sounds of the seas press 1, for all other options, or, to speak with a customer advisor, please press 2."

Self-Assembly Bookcase

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"Dang it."

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

"Hello... is that the help desk?"

'I think I should take my hubby for counselling. . . his brain and hands aren't on talking terms.'

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

"If I hear one more buzz I will pull this car over!"

'You're supposed to fetch the stick back,not throw it.'

"What don't you understand about 'fetch'?"

'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'

"Well, I have arranged the pick-up of your shipment, sir. Do you already want to raise the complaint about the miscarriage, sir?"

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly."

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

If you would be willing to take a short survey at the end of this call, press "1". If you would like to risk being punished for not taking the survey by being kept on hold for an extra 10 minutes, press "2."

"Yes, you caught me at a bad time...I'm home!"

Voice Jail

"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh . . . please enter your 23 digit telephone banking code followed by your 14 digit account no and your 24 digit security code. . ."

"This is NHS direct.You are in a queue,approximate waiting time is 4 hours."

Feelings towards radios #5 Man angrily kicking a radio.

"yetthhh, i hold..."

"Please rate our customer service. For Nasty Insults, Press 1...."

"Here it comes...my hard work is paying off...give it to me, baby!"

"You're darn right I'm angry: my reputation has been ruined by my behavior."

Man at complaints window gets redirected to the next window.

'If this is the conflict resolution hotline, why are you ticking me off??!!

'Not the repair manual. Bring me the book of mechanics' curse words.'