Frustrated Caller Enthusiast Prints

"Your call will be deleted in the order it was received."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'The King of what?'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

...the onion rings

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'If you don't mind, my sales manager wanted me to call him the second you took the hook.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Phone Calls As a Child and As an Adult

Listenin' in

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

Woman on the phone while her kids cause chaos in the background.

Collar I.D.

'My son never called me until he became a telemarketer.'

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

"He wants to know if I'm alone."

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

'You can't put me on hold... I'm putting you on hold!'

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

'Still 10 minutes to go before my cheap call rate kicks in...!'

'I'm just opening him now. Stand by and I will give you a detailed description of what I find inside your husband...uh...hello?'

Dog Chatlines...

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

"You're currently talking to a Millennial, please hold while we try and find someone who speaks 'boomer'."

'I absolutely concur with your opinion: that I am an over scripted, brain dead moron, who is wasting your time!'