Fruity Red Seeker Gifts

"I'm looking for a red with a fruity bouquet, lightly peppery on the palate, and will get me smashed in under 3 glasses."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Overjumpers

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

Gulliver's other travels.

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"Habanero ..."

Did you hear? Marco Polo went to China in search of herbs and spices. Wow! The first instance of thyme travel!

'I've changed my mind Donald. I don't want to put a little spice back into our marriage anymore.'

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"You get a white robe, a halo, wings, and of course, free WIFI."

"Holy water, holy water...."

"I'm not very scary now, but I will be if I don't get candy."

Whole foods versus 'hole foods'.

'I'm working off Saturday's sundae.'

Get a life

Thirsty Couple Crawling Through Desert.

An astronaut finds a dehydrated man on the desert of the moon.

Need Wi-Fi

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

Black Truffles!

'Internet access... internet access....'

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

No Loitering

'You want the chili? - Have you had all your shots?'

Jose's Hot Tamale: Rekindle that fire in the belly.

It's always good idea to check your burrito butt.