Fruitful Storyteller Gifts

Book Editor. It's about me. so it has lots of juicy parts.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Swan Fairy Tales

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

J. R. R. Tolkien

The Demise of Tinkerbell

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

Kirsten Johnson

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

I wonder what kind of wizard or vampire my husband will be

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Reading

My Spam Sketchbook

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

We're looking for a quiet neighborhood where everyone feeds us because they all believe we belong to them.

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."