Fruit Salad Specialist Pillows

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

Ball as water-melon.

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Surprise in the salad bowl

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Conference Pears

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'Diet considerations.'

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"More croutons, sir?"

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

Free salad bar.

Ranch Dressing

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

"I want a big-a*s salad."