Salads Pillows

'I can't figure out why I'm not losing weight. All I eat is salad.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Condensed chef salad

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

Well, the cat guide says, 'If your cat brings home a dead animal, consider it a gift of love - he's 'feeding' you.' Hmph... Nothing in here about a salad, though...

"They call him the avocado whisperer. He knows when they are about to turn."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

I've been on this green leafy diet for months...

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

There are only two types of people in the world. Those who are built for salad and those who are not.

"You're not being punished, Kenny...Salad is what we're having for dinner."

'Don't tell me you didn't stop at a bar after work. I can smell salad on your breath.'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Your salad never Caesars to amaze me!"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

Crueltons

Rocket Lettuce.

'hat have I done? I'll never put blue cheese dressing on my salad again!'

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

Vinegary salads are a small price to pay for boycotting the oil industry.

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

Hey, do you want ranch with that salad?

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

'Diet considerations.'

T-Rex at the Salad Bar.

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"Barkeeper! More chick-peas!"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Like death by salad.'