Fruit Portion Skeptic Gifts

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

"Just be yourself."

What the Doctor Ordered

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

Apple Pie Abduction

Banana Split Personality

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

Tarzan of the Grapes.

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

Newton forgets gravity, discovers delicious apple

Large, wrinkly

Tree Passion

Peach flirting with a banana.

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Plum jam...

'What are you eating now?'

"Prepare to meet your maker."

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Vegetarian Birthdays.

Apricots

"Hahahaha doctor, I guess I'll see you in a week

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'I'm collecting goat poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'