Frugality Advocate Pillows

'You have to spend money to make money, and Walter just HATES it.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

Pandora's box.

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

How to do without

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'