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Cost of Family Living

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Fries and kids

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

"He's not our founder. He just found us the most tax loopholes."

"I like it; but let's make sure we can get the domain name first."

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

'Except...That.'

'We just drive by and throw candy and stuff like in a parade.'

'Text your father and tell him I'm not talking to him!'

'It's our 10 year plan.'

'I'm married with five children.' - 'Sorry, we're looking for someone with sound judgement.'

No Frills Psychiatrist.

'Sure raising my allowance is great, daddy but what I really want is power of attorney!!

'He's my father and I say we dump him pricate...!'