Frozen Dinner Fan Gifts

'You'll find your dinner in the frozen department of our local corner shop.'

'Frozen dinners have more calories if you heat them up.'

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

"How about a little more coffee?"

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

TV Chef Cooking Range

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'Wait! Don't get in. . . It's totally cold.'

Nouveau wine

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

"Wine makes him sleepy."

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

An Eskimo sits in a melting igloo, as a central heating van drives away.

'May I recommend the red wine?'

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

'Ignore him, he's just angry because you're eating out of his bowl.'

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

'The temperature isn't too bad at -15, but when you add on the wind chill factor... '