Frosty Philosophers Pillows

"Did you ever notice, the snow is always whiter on the other side of the glacier?"

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"Little help?"

Pigeon Little

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Lemniskate

Reverse psychology

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

Ooooh! Someone got a carrot job! Someone got a carrot job!

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

Jeffrey's Time Machine: '...I want to go back and see what the world was like when people weren't so stupid and annoying!'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

Football fan

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

The existentialist manifesto according to Jean-Paul Sinatra-'oooby Dooby Doo!'

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

"It Works For Us."

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

"It's chic to be vulnerable."

Fish Food

"Old Jack Frost nipping at your nose, eh?"

"I'm getting some ice cubes for my snowman. I think he's hungry."

Ski Lift Glove Fishing

"The gods aren't angry, Tara. They're just hurt and disappointed."

"Is it always so cloudy?"