Friendship Philosopher Pillows

"When someone doesn't like me I like them. . . when someone likes me I don't like them."

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

"I'm unfriending you."

"There's no point in our being friends if you won't let me fix you."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

"No, I get it. At some point, every friend I've ever had needs to take a break from me."

'Hey, wait a second! Aren't we friends on Facebook?! You're Ralph's cousin,right? Yeah, we just friended each other last month.'

"I also just want to be friends, but with somebody else."

"Your problem reminds me of how I want to talk about my problems."

"Jeff's trying to get his Facebook friends back down to zero."

"I don't want your money, I want you to be my friend on facebook!"

'Money can't buy friendship.'-'Neither can poverty.'

Secret to a balanced life - spend as much time on each other as you do on Facebook.

Friendships and social networks

"If I don't come back for you, it's because our friendship was one of circumstance."

"Michael has more facebook friends, I have more LinkedIn contacts, and Sarah has more actual friends."

"I guess I just want a guy friend...someone I can talk to about stuff."

"Gaby broke up with her BFF? That's awful."

'This is typical. You have 700 Facebook friends and can't think of anybody as an emergency contact.'

'I wish I had your lovely complexion, Sarah.' 'That is so sweet. I wish I had your... sweet nature.'

'Timmy, I want you to know - You're more than just my best friend...You're my lunch too!'

'I'm nobody's best friend, I'm an Indie.'

Special Cards for Special Friends

Mr Nice Guy

'One thing you've got to learn about life...you're not going to make many friends.'

'Now I get it. You were only pretending to throw the stick - to fool me. Like how I only pretend to be your best friend.'

"I've been meaning to speak to you since fourth grade."

Woman with no Facebook friends begging for money.

'Best friend? I hardly know the man!'

"All of my friends are imaginary."

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

'Billy Cargill doesn't have any facebook friends. He's a loner.'

'I've lost my Christmas list, now I have no idea who my friends are.'

'I think it was better back in the days when you could be befriended, but not defriended.'

Lance, why did you unfriend me on Facebook after pestering me to be your Facebook friend in the first place? Facebook said I reached my friend limit, so I had to dump somebody in order to accept a friend request from Jessica Alba.