Friends Of Expecting Couple T-Shirts

'As long as it's got six fingers and eighteen toes...'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

Childbirth and Covid 19

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I'll never watch Alien again!!

The Ultrasound.

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"We don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s not annoying."

'In the owners manual it's listed as Foetal muzak. I call it gurgling intestines!!'

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"

'And she's got the gall to call me chubby.' - Hubert's comment on a pregnancy.

How humans are born.

Baby Shower.