Expecting Friends T-Shirts

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

'Which health plan are you on?'

Cry babies.

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

Childbirth and Covid 19

The Ultrasound.

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

"Keep pushing, I can see the head!"

Fortune teller predicts a bigger family for worried parents.

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

'In the owners manual it's listed as Foetal muzak. I call it gurgling intestines!!'

"We don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s not annoying."

'And she's got the gall to call me chubby.' - Hubert's comment on a pregnancy.

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

"I guess I've got the spirit in me!"

"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"

Baby Shower.

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"