Friend In Business Mugs

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

Boss's Desk Says No!

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

That shows business confidence.

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

Superheroes Having a Drink

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

'Everyone's true personality comes out on dress-down Fridays, even the boss's.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"Make yourself comfortable so that we can discuss your raise."

Subordinate Employee

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

Cog-In-The-Wheel

InOutYada Yada.

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

violence in workplace

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

Race for Results

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'Miss Barnes, cancel my appointments. If I start swimming now, I can be back in the office in a few weeks.'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'In the corporate world, I'm a survivor.'

'What's my secret? I never left work last night.'

'Where should I leave this?'

Your supervisor says you have been giving 100 every week, but at the rate of 20 a day.

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

'Of course, that's just my opinion. It'll be yours, too, if you know what's good for you.'

Fish in Water Cooler.