Frequent Flyer Foodie Pillows

'Where are you headed?' 'Oh, I'm just here for the food.'

"Does Bev always pack her own food?"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

'What zip code are we in now?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"Would you like some wings?"

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Walking Luggage.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

A private jet takes off

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Airplane Mode.

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Vaccination Passport