Frequent Flyer Fanatic Pillows

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

"You can't buy forgiveness with airline miles, Charles."

"Can I use my frequent flier miles?"

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

'Does N.A.S.A. give frequent flyer miles?'

'Uhh, could I have your frequent flier points?'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

Arrivals...Departures: 'Celebrities! Thank you for not intermingling entourages!'

Elite-Premium Passengers

"This is your captain speaking. I'm delighted to announce that all you frequent flyers members on board today will earn five credits at the college of your choice."

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

'What zip code are we in now?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Fighter Jet Sneeze

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Can our software do that?'

Walking Luggage.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Airplane Mode.

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."