French Greeter Gifts

Bonjour!

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Cat Reunion

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

"In this company, Simmons, we hold our hands steady in the middle and shake our bodies."

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

'I'm good. How are you?'

Two men jogging past one another trying to get as many words in as possible.

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

Waiting for the fleet to come in.

I know 'enjoy the day' is the latest trendy, trite pleasantry, but in this store, we stick with the classic, 'Have a nice day'.

Recession/Recovery

"Kemo sabe, I want you to be official greeter at my new casino."

Chapeaux!

"Yo!" "Hi, guy!" "Yo, guy!"

"Cursed To Live In HowdyTown."

"I miss handshakes"

"Remember, lad, the firm handshake has been replaced with a good sharp jab of the elbow."

Allo?

A Cornish Man

Welcome to Wal-Mart. Comfort food: straight ahead, third row ? then turn right./He was good. Too good.

"Crikey! I wasn't intending to shout it from the rooftops!!"

"Do we kiss these people?"

"Good morning."

Yo yo.

The new house of worship greeter.

Greetings cards

"At some point their handshake deals evolved into man hugs."

Knowing the dangers of being a Church Greeter during cold and flu season, Harold stocks up on hand sanitizer.

See? People don't shaky anymore, Mark, they fist-bump.

'I warned you in the summer to make sure your pants fitted.'

Girl answers phone and smoke comes out 'HELLO' from 'Big Sky Writing' company.

'Put that right back! Mother will be here any minute.'